No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
