Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
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he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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