We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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