he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
