y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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