need another drink. this is the easiest way
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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