I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize