He asked me if I "almost moaned"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
