it wasn't lemon gatorade
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
not ubering you a puppy
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
