I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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