i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize