Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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