I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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