I feel great
I just peed on a car
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
How's work?
Spinning.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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