What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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