ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
ok first of all what the fuck
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
