Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So many bounce houses so little time
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize