My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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