Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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