i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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