I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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