i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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