Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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