Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
