bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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