He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
