I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
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