Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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