ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
