I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
