I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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