i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize