when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
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He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize