The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
