why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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