Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize