But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
