Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
