I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
