mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
