Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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