screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize