I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
