Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
