Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Sorry my hands just texted you
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
