Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
