The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
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I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
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I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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