HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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