Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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