So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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