My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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