oh god the rape fog is back!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
