New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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