you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
