The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize