Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
