We won't sleep together?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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